Many, many couple disagree on names. But rare is the expectant parent who makes the effort to see disliked names in a new light. Kudos to you for being open-minded enough to try to unlearn some old opinions. Promise me, though, that you’re truly just being thoughtful and not bending too far backwards for a spouse who’s unwilling to bend at all?

In this globally networked age, it's irresistible to start Googling your kids before they’re even born. After all, our digital lives are becoming ever more real -- the stuff of friendships, romances and careers. And with brands and bloggers fretting over search engine optimization, a look at the query results for your future daughter’s name makes perfect sense.

Pinky, you and I are skating for the same team. Choosing a name that complements a brother’s in style and sound is one thing, but pulling two names from one distinctive pool -- a pool you never intended to fish in -- is another.

Last week I published a letter from an expectant mother who was concerned about using a baby name that a relative had already chosen. I advised her to simply pick up the phone and call the other parent. There are no official rules to when names are "taken"; it varies based on relationships, culture, and the names themselves. (Two boys named Jupiter might be a bigger deal than two boys name James.)  Asking permission is the direct approach, and the considerate one. 

Your friend has already taken my advice, yet you still feel hurt. Even the idea  of close friends encroaching on your name space feels like a violation. I understand where you're coming from, given that the friends are your son's own godparents. Nonetheless, I think you're being a little unfair with this mom-to-be.

There's nothing wrong with choosing sibling names that make a set. In fact, many parents --and especially parents of twins -- seek out names that "match" in one way or another, a kind of not-so-secret code that says, "these kids go together."

But as in all style "matching," it's possible to overdo it. Pants that pick up a color in the pattern of your sweater? That's a match. Pants and sweater in the same hunter plaid? That pushes matching over the line.

Sometimes as parents you have to teach the hard lessons: dessert comes after dinner, if all your friends jumped off a bridge you wouldn’t follow...and having the right to do a thing is not the same as doing the right thing.

It's understandable that you're focusing on your rights as the baby's mother-to-be. You've dreamed of this child. You're looking forward to all the special connections you and your daughter will share, including a beautiful name chosen by you with love. Just thinking of that name helps you think of her as yours in every way.

Many of us love old-fashioned names, just as we love old-fashioned home cooking. That is to say, we love the versions that fit our romantic image of the past. “Mmm, mmm, fresh bread baking in the oven and a rich soup simmering on the stove, what could be better?” But when I flip through my yellowed 1930s Fanny Farmer Cookbook, it turns out to be full of recipes like hard-cooked eggs in cream sauce (“serve over pancakes”) and Chilled Shrimp Bisque, made with canned shrimp and condensed cream of mushroom soup.

The same selective nostalgia works on baby names. Most people today see sweet little Emma andLillie and romantic Olivia and Isabella as the bread and soup, and Mildred...well, you get the picture.