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Do We Need New Baby Name Etiquette?

What about the people who choose a name for their child and expect it to be pronounced a certain way, yet it goes against English pronunciation? Then they actually get angry that you aren't smart enough to realize they are using a non-standard pronunciation! What can you do with these people?

- Mr. Grumpy

My grandson's name is Tyberious, you should see the looks we get when I introduce him. Please give me a snappy comeback for these rude adults!

- Steamed Grandma

America, we are facing a crisis in baby name etiquette. Names have changed dramatically over the past generation, and our manners haven't kept up. As you can see from my "Grumpy" and "Steamed" correspondents, tempers are rising on both sides of the divide. It's time to take a step back and rediscover common courtesy.

If you're in "Grumpy's" spot, you have to face facts. When it comes to names, normal just isn't normal any more. Last year alone, at least five American babies received each of these names:

Abcde
Cashmiere
Jerusalen
Kharizma
Myrical
Shellsea
Siranthony
Xzavious
Zepplin

And that's just scratching the surface. Every year, you're going to meet more and more people with names that give you pause. No matter your private thoughts on the matter, you have to be polite. Because even if the name looks like a mistake (or a bad joke) to you, it's very real and very personal to the people who chose it and bear it. Think of it this way: when a proud grandma shows you pictures of her grandbabies, do you wrinkle your nose and make snide remarks about how ugly they look? Of course you don't. Follow those same instincts when you hear the kids' names.

Of course, even the best of manners won't keep you from tripping up on a baffling pronunciation.  If a parent gets irate over an innocent mistake, try not to strike back. Smile and say, "No offense intended, I just hadn't come across that spelling before. What a creative name!"

Now, if you're on the other side of this exchange, you have to be realistic too. You deliberately chose (or invented) a name to be unconventional, so you can hardly expect it to roll off people's tongues like John and Mary. Gently correcting spelling and pronunciation mistakes, over and over, is the price you pay for uniqueness.

If somebody crosses the line and makes rude comments, your best path is to kill them with kindness. The more gentle and earnest your response, the more they'll regret their own bad manners. Try this, with your sweetest smile: "I realize it may be be unfamiliar, but it's so precious to us."

Comments

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June 14, 2010 3:58 PM
By Abby@AppMtn (not verified)

Bravo, Name Lady! Nicely said.

June 14, 2010 4:44 PM
By Mommytoatree (not verified)

What's worse is when that other person makes that rude comment to me with my child with me. "You named her that? I that you loved her!" She's 4 years old, fully capable of understanding what he said. The best I could come up with on the spot was, "Of course I love her. That's why I gave her that name." Hopefully my response helped dampen any negativity she picked up.

Yes. I do wish people would understand that politeness needs to extend to a child's name, too.

June 14, 2010 5:43 PM
By TrixiesMom (not verified)

Nicely said is right! Manners matter and it is important not to be rude. That said, you must know, deep down, try as I might, I do judge. We all do. The Keeleys, the Kaylees, the Kylees. I can't help it. Even though I don't, I feel I know everything I need to know about you. As for Tyberious, truly, I don't pretend to know a single thing about you or your family. But I am also not going to apologize for stumbling over the pronunciation of an unusual name, or for pausing while I take in a new and never-before-heard name. I am afraid it is the best anyone can hope for.

I am anxious to read what others have to say here!

June 14, 2010 9:48 PM
By Jenna (not verified)

I'm expecting my third child, a boy, and have experienced quite a bit of rudeness about our choice of name: Edgar John. Most people say "No really. What are you naming him?" or "Don't you think John Edgar would sound better?". And while I appreciate that Edgar is an old name, I expect other people to be respectful of our choice.

Further more, I feel that Edgar is a strong, masculine name that will be appropriate for all stages of his life- and it's a family name! Am I wrong in being offended when people make snide comments or suggest that maybe I inadvertently switched the names (from John Edgar)?

June 14, 2010 9:48 PM
By Jenna (not verified)

I'm expecting my third child, a boy, and have experienced quite a bit of rudeness about our choice of name: Edgar John. Most people say "No really. What are you naming him?" or "Don't you think John Edgar would sound better?". And while I appreciate that Edgar is an old name, I expect other people to be respectful of our choice.

Further more, I feel that Edgar is a strong, masculine name that will be appropriate for all stages of his life- and it's a family name! Am I wrong in being offended when people make snide comments or suggest that maybe I inadvertently switched the names (from John Edgar)?

June 14, 2010 10:48 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

Hi Jenna,

I just wanted you to know that I love the name Edgar. All three of our children have old names (George and Edward are the boys) and while most people are complimentary about our choices, every once in a while we experience similar comments like you have heard. Of course it is hurtful- and unfortunately I don't have a good comeback for you. I will say, however, that we learned our lesson after DS #1 was born and we shared names with family prior to the birth- BIG MISTAKE! I am now pregnant with #4 and when people ask I tell them that we have a short list and leave it at that- no details. Good luck to you and darling Edgar!

June 15, 2010 10:49 AM
By Erin (not verified)

I get a similar reaction to some of my favorite names. I love the names Lauren-Marie and Eleanor. But people always comment on my hyphenation in Lauren-Marie--on how terrible it will be for my child. I just don't see how a hyphen could be that awful? Also, when I say I like the name Eleanor, people will immediately say it is too "old." I think it is regal, beautiful, and gives the child many choices. She could go by Eleanor, Elle, Ellie, Nora, etc. It has cute-name potential for babyhood but its also works on Grandma Eleanor.

June 15, 2010 11:48 AM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I get comments a lot about my daughter beatrice's name. Oh well, at least I didn't make it up!

June 15, 2010 1:03 PM
By Katsy (not verified)

I recently had a situation where I narrowly avoided making a snide comment about a name choice. A friend of mine (she's 17, which may contribute to this) is pregnant with a baby boy, due in August. His future name? Jeep Roper C*****. Now, I do live in a rural area, but this is a bit over the top to me. I managed to smile and compliment her on her unique-ness, but inwardly I was thinking "that poor little boy!"

June 15, 2010 1:22 PM
By Lara Jane (not verified)

I had a bit of a sticky situation when my sister-in-law named her first daughter Isable. My mother-in-law is super sweet and kind (almost to the point of lying, really) and thought we should leave it alone, so as not to hurt Sister's feelings. But I kept addressing my correspondence to Isabel, and I think others must have, too, because she got the hint and changed it.

For the record, Edgar is a rad name, Jenna. You stand your ground!

And anon, Beatrice was going to be my daughter's name, but she never did materialize. :(

June 15, 2010 1:29 PM
By Nicki (not verified)

"when a proud grandma shows you pictures of her grandbabies, do you wrinkle your nose and make snide remarks about how ugly they look? Of course you don't." - WELL PUT!

I get a lot of comments about naming my daughter Ryan, and I just grin and bear it. I know not everyone is going to agree with naming a girl a boy's name. But it was my choice. I won't say anything negative about your choices...please don't say anything against mine.

June 15, 2010 1:40 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I wonder if we do expectant parent(s) any favor by complimenting the name they're thinking about naming their baby/say they're planning to name their baby when we think it's a really terrible name that very well may be detrimental to the child's/adult's life. I think there are polite ways to show concern about the name and not be a party to giving the impression that the name is fine or even a good one. Jeep Roper is a terrible name; I think the young mother is trying too hard to be "unique". After she's heard all the remarks about the cleverness -- or whatever -- of the name -- some of the remarks no doubt genuine from her friends, others just being polite -- her poor son has to live with that name FOREVER. http://www.livescience.com/culture/baby-names-effects-100610.html

June 15, 2010 2:43 PM
By Christiana (not verified)

Isn't it funny how the attitudes of parents have changed from the polite to the rude when it comes to spelling/pronunciation?

I had an elderly friend who's name was Aileen, pronounced like Eileen. Her mother heard it on a radio program and had no idea how to spell it (no internet back then!) so she figured it out the best she could. Both the lady and her mother would practically apologize when someone would misspell her name - "I'm sorry, it's actually spelled w/ an "A" - mama wasn't sure how to spell it when I was born." Nowadays, even the unusually spelled names get parents feisty with their indignation over the "misspelling." I'm sorry, if you don't choose a conventional spelling, be prepared to spell it over and over again throughout your child's life.

June 15, 2010 2:46 PM
By seasoncolor (not verified)

We named our daughter Eleanor and the worst comment I've gotten was, "Well that's unusual." I love her name, and I agree, it's regal and has lots of nn potential, in fact we call her Ellie.

June 15, 2010 2:51 PM
By Emily Postal (not verified)

Jenna, I just have to chime in and say that Edgar is a fabulous name!

June 15, 2010 2:55 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I'm the mom to an Eleanor too. We nicknamed her Nora. I have always loved the name and had many of the same thoughts you have - it can be shortened to something cute, it is completely regal and stately, and doesn't sound silly on a resume or for a grandmother! We also have a Margaret, nicknamed Greta. Baby 3 is on the way...not sure what we're having, so no names picked out yet.

June 15, 2010 3:27 PM
By Linda (not verified)

As far as I can tell in most of these comments, the other person is being rude to an older more formal name. i love those names. I am having trouble biting my tounge with younger friends and fam who name thier children odd spellings or names like Greacyn and Layinee. It just looks like the parent cannot spell and makes the child seem uneducated.

June 15, 2010 3:38 PM
By Payton (not verified)

My son's name is Callen. When people look at him they smile, but they turn around and tell me I should have given him a boy name! His name is pronounced KAL-in, like Calvin without the "v". That's masculine to me. They must think his name is Kalighn or Kallyne!

June 15, 2010 4:23 PM
By Leeds (not verified)

"Got the hint and changed it."

See, I think this is the very point being made here and being misunderstood by Lara Jane. A parent gives a child their name. Your opinion doesn't matter in the least. Sure, I have met and seen names that I would never, under any circumstances, give to a child. We all have. But the moment we think we have the right to say "your child's name is wrong, you need to change it" or "hint" to that effect, we overstep our bounds.

Feel free not to name your child Isable. But recognize the right for "Sister" to do that very thing. To purposely mis-address your niece because you did not approve of the spelling of her name, well, that's a childish and passive-aggressive way to act.

June 15, 2010 4:30 PM
By Sarah (not verified)

It is very common in the French language to give a child a double name. I have a cousin Mari-Laure (backwards from yours, but similar) and I think that it is beautiful. When I was in high school my best friend was named Anna-Margaret and I was ALWAYS jealous of the traditional/uniqueness of her name. Go for either, I LOVE them both!

June 15, 2010 7:25 PM
By Cathryn (not verified)

My husband and I have ran into a similar situation with our 4 month old son, Benton Grover. I've actually had people say, "that poor baby. Why would you do that to him?". He's named after his great X2 grandpa on his dad's side and his great X3 grandpa on my side. His name means something to us. I say why would we not do that to him? So many people don't even know who their great grandparents were let alone 3 greats!

I think Edgar John is an awesome name! No other child on the play ground will have it!

June 15, 2010 7:52 PM
By Megan W. (not verified)

I have to admit, I have this problem with my own name. I pronounce Megan with a long E. (Rhymes with begin or Regan).

It amuses me how often well-meaning people tell me that my name would be "better" if I spelled it Meagan. They get upset when I point out that my name does not rhyme with Reagan, as in Ronald. If you must correct a name, please make a logical suggestion!

June 15, 2010 7:57 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

Edgar is a great name. Don't let anyone talk you out of it.

June 15, 2010 11:58 PM
By Marbles (not verified)

Cathryn, while I agree that Benton and Grover are both fine names, I think that people may be reacting poorly to hearing them together. When I read them I "heard" them as being Bendin' Over. While I'm sure that wasn't your intention, it does open him up to some rather awful nicknames and innuendo.

June 16, 2010 1:33 AM
By MKIB (not verified)

Payton, I assume people are reading (or mishearing) your son's name as Kaylin/Cailin, with a long-a vowel sound. I have never heard the name Callen before, but I absolutely love it!! Very masculine if you ask me. :)

June 16, 2010 2:02 PM
By Renee (not verified)

If it's a terribly off-kilter name, to put it lightly, I'd sooner give my condolences than say, "What a creative name!" Depends on the individual, of course, and I wouldn't be rude about it, but I wouldn't pretend to like it.

June 16, 2010 3:25 PM
By Ms. Mxylptlk (not verified)

There are some truly awful names out there. There are some that are not to my taste but perfectly normal. There are some that look like a cat puked up some high-value Scrabble tiles. Benton, Eleanor, Beatrice, all standard names that have been in use for so long and within the cultural norms that there is no reason for anyone to say anything appalling about them.

Ryan, Evan and Aidan on a girl? Just because Mommy thinks it is special and meaningful to the family will NOT stop people from thinking she's a boy. Not just the little bald baby in a dress, but come college applications, job hunting, or just calling the bank on the phone, you are inflicting an entire lifetime of correcting people about the name and gender of your daughter. It isn't that they are bad names; it is that they are culturally BOY names and anyone hearing them automatically will assume they are boys. "Fixing" the problem by naming her Evan Rose-Isabella Sparkleighpants tells me that Mommy knows she's making a mistake because she's giving the child an option to not use the annoying male first name.

Misspelled or cat-puke creations are their own genre. Not only do you have the gender ambiguity of random sounds like Jaylen (or sometimes the super frilly OMGYESTHATSAGIRL, a la Arialexandreaunalyn or McKendrianna), you are now asking people to spell things that are outside phonetic sense, outside of culture, outside of meaning, and only inside the latest fashion. Quinton vs Quinton? Yeah, sure, spelling variation. Kwyntyn? Cat puke. You are forcing people to learn names that they really don't have a reason to care about. Put 20 resumes in front of me, and sorry, the ones that look illiterate are highly likely to get overlooked. No one cares that you gave your little princess grandpa's name but made it girly with a spelling twist on top. People only care that the moniker is usable in daily life, and there is a WIDE range of usable names from very exotic or ethnic to Jane and Ann.

Also, from the perspective of a teacher, the more bizarre a name, the more likely the kid really isn't the best and brightest. Not because the teacher holds a kid back, but because Mommy's failure to grasp phonetics means that it isn't taught to the child or reinforcing learning concepts at home. There are different priorities, which is actually very frustrating.

Sometimes, when the world is telling you that you gave the kid a difficult or even bad name, it's because you did. I am sorry that people are rude about it. That isn't right, but at the same time, when you look around baby naming boards and the worst you are allowed to say to the mother of baby Genocide is "that's not my style at all," (NMSAA!!!!), it doesn't really get across the horror of what you're inflicting on that child. A name should not be a curse upon a child, for any reason. If your name is Shih, naming your kid Paul is horrible. If your name is Sidall, don't name her Sue Ann.

June 16, 2010 6:04 PM
By Søren (not verified)

I guess I'm intrigued by this conversation more than anything. The shift in naming is indeed dramatic, but I would argue that it isn't the names themselves (though certainly they have changed) but the cultural forces behind the "new" (often old) names. That names should prove contentious should come as no surprise when they so dramatically highlight generational, class, and racial divides that we Americans are generally uncomfortable engaging.

But there's another aspect that I find equally striking, which is that names are now expected to mark or identify the child as an individual. This seems a very recent development in American naming practices (across the socio-economic spectrum). When did it become so critical that names individuate the child?

I don't know, I love the variety of names but something behind it all makes me think that there are no better names than John and Mary.

June 16, 2010 7:54 PM
By Payton (not verified)

Renee, what name were you refering to?

June 16, 2010 7:55 PM
By Payton (not verified)

Sorry! I mis-read Renee's post. No need to pay attention to the previous question

June 17, 2010 5:28 AM
By Anonymous (not verified)

What's with the smug Eleanor comments? That name is growing in popularity and boring as anything. It isn't regal. THere is no royal family in which Eleanor is common.

June 17, 2010 6:06 AM
By Anonymous (not verified)

Oh, I'm a fan of Eleanor and Edgar.

I do think there is a time to politely give feedback--if a future parent is expressing ambivalence over the name choice. Once parent is attached to the name or the baby is born, its time to only say nice things.

We almost had an Albert. That name was at the top of our list for a long time, but both of us were lukewarm on it. We'd found with our first child that we liked his name even more once we used it. So, we let the Albert slip out as a possibility to see what close friends/family would think and how it would sound being said back to us. That was also lukewarm--no one really against it or enthusiastic. So, we kept looking for a name keeping Albert on the list. We settled on Peter when he was 2 days old.

June 17, 2010 9:47 AM
By Gee70 (not verified)

Bad names are like a bad smell. You tend to wrinkle your nose, whether you mean to or not.

This grandma is upset because people are giving her LOOKS. Woman up, lady and stop whining. Sometimes it is hard to shield an initial reaction. (Though I don't hate Tiberius, I do think the parents should have spelled it differently. I suppose they wanted Ty as a nn.)

Everyone who gives a kid an unsual or cre8iv name needs to be prepared to maybe have it misspelled, mispronounced, and misunderstood.

I had to sit and listen to a mother complain that the doctor never remembers her boy is named Kiren (K-eye-ran) and not Kieran. It's ridiculous.

June 17, 2010 10:34 AM
By Samantha (not verified)

Just wanted to let you know that I completely agree with you. 'Edgar' is the name of my late Grandfather, and he is honored highly in our family. It is an older name, and one with dignity. I think 'Eddie' is an adorable nickname for a little boy, and have been wanting to use it myself, although I don't want to use something as common as 'Edward' like a lot of people might. Great choice of name - I might just 'steal' it!

June 17, 2010 10:34 AM
By Samantha (not verified)

Just wanted to let you know that I completely agree with you. 'Edgar' is the name of my late Grandfather, and he is honored highly in our family. It is an older name, and one with dignity. I think 'Eddie' is an adorable nickname for a little boy, and have been wanting to use it myself, although I don't want to use something as common as 'Edward' like a lot of people might. Great choice of name - I might just 'steal' it!

June 17, 2010 10:37 AM
By Samantha (not verified)

Sorry, I thought I was just responding to Jenna...

June 17, 2010 10:54 AM
By Samantha (not verified)

I have a friend who had a great method of revealing her children's names. She would compile a list of about 5-10 names (first and middle) and show this list around in the few months before the baby was born. She wasn't looking for opinions, but reactions. Any possible 'weirdness' that might come out of a name - like, does it rhyme with anything we may not have considered, or is the name reminiscent of any famous evil character in life or literature? They may have already chosen the name they wanted, but wanted some extra feedback to avoid the 'I didn't think of that...' after the baby was born.
Some of the comments she got she took into consideration, and there are obviously some things that you'll decide are worth the risk, or that you can live with, but at least (hopefully) there are no surprises, and you can be prepared for whatever your kid might get made fun of on the playground for in regards to their name.
We plan on using this same method - however, we will make it very clear that we don't want to know if people 'like' the name or not, since all the names we've chosen we obviously will.

June 17, 2010 10:19 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I have to say, the one thing I can't get my mind around are the children named after booze. Courvoisier's parents: I am not going to pretend to think that's creative.

June 18, 2010 7:18 AM
By Bebe (not verified)

Showing the list can backfire. There are lots of names people will disregard purely because of personal tastes.

My husband's grandmother (an elegant, wonderful woman) was horrified when I said Emma was a popular name. She declared it an old crone name. And she begged me not to use it, which I never had any intention of doing. (My husband's family were under the weird impression they had some say in what we were going to name the baby.)

The reality is most don't have enough gumption to actually tell you to your face that Maysen or Butterfly are a horrible names for a beautiful baby girl. Just like most won't go up to someone at a party and tell someone her outfit is hideous.

June 18, 2010 8:10 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

Er, Eleanor of Aquitaine, anyone? Only the most powerful queen of England and/or France in history . . .

June 19, 2010 10:32 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I chose my first daughter's name for the same reason. Her name is Evangeline. We call her Evie now, but she could go by Eve, Eva, Evan, Angel, Angeline....I am pregnant with number two now. My husband has been stuck on the name Nora (his name spelled backwards)since I was pregnant with Evie. I think Nora is a fine name, I just don't know if I want to us it for my child. I have considered Eleanor, or Eleanora this time. That way he could still have his Nora, but she could go by whatever she feels suits her.

June 20, 2010 1:29 AM
By JustanotherSarah (not verified)

As a mother who likes unique uncommon names, but not bizarre and made up names, I am really enjoying this conversation. :D

I have two daughters, who we named Paisley and Murron. We are Scottish and prefer Scottish names, so they were easy choices...though Paisley is gaining popularity (darn it!) it is a family name and suits her so well. Murron is a classic Scottish name, but extremely rare. Our newest soon to be addition will be Ewan or Breagha (pronounced Brey-a) as they are both Scottish and unique. But they are not made up and are classically spelled. The best of all worlds, imo. ;)

We definitely wanted unique names, but I think creative spellings and made up names are taking it more than a bit too far. There's nothing good about being unique because of a ridiculous name. Better to have a meaningful name, despite it's commonality.

Personal taste accounts for a lot, and we should be polite when faced with names that are...unfortunate. But please people, have a little sense. :D

*reads on*

June 20, 2010 5:38 PM
By mommytoCaius (not verified)

I clearly love unique names as my son is named Caius, note I said unique as in classic and unusual (Caius Julius Ceasar) as opposed to made up or weird spellings. I was looking for a little feedback on a name I tentatively have picked out for a #2.

My maternal family has a made-up last name, it was a situation where when they came to the US from Norway and changed it from Mollerud to Melroe to be easier to pronounce. If I run into someone with the last name Melroe, they are related to me. We are now to the point where all the 'older' Melroe's are beginning to pass and the others are marrying or moving away from the area. Also, my last name is not Melroe.

That being said. I want to name my daughter Melroe. Any thoughts?

June 20, 2010 7:59 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

What is your surname? I think Melroe is lovely, but the sound combination is always very important to me.

Just curious: do you pronounce your son's name starting with [g] or with [k]?

June 20, 2010 9:24 PM
By mommytoCaius (not verified)

My son's name is Caius Henry, pronounced KAI-us, if that makes any sense. I am horrible at trying to spell phonetically. It is often mispronounced but I LOVE it! My husband studied Latin throughout catholic school and minored in classical studies in college. We always knew we would have a son with a strong classic Latin name.

Our surname is Kniert, pronounced Ka-nert. There really isn't much that goes with Kniert. Any great suggestions for middle names? That's where I am completely stuck.

June 21, 2010 12:42 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

That's cool! I was a classics double major, so I have a fondness for Latin names too. I bet no one would ever get it right if you'd pronounced it [GAI-us].

Your surname is really hard! But actually I think Melroe is great with it; it has a nice liquidy feel to it that balances out Kniert pretty well. It's very feminine, too.

I see what you mean about the middle name, though; the usual ones don't really work that well. A more surname-y sounding surname might be okay, as a middle name, but you already have one... I think you want to go for something that starts with a consonant and has as many syllables ending in vowels as possible, to balance Kniert. [i] ("i" as in "machine") or [ai] could work as initial sounds too, particularly if the first syllable is unstressed (Aileen/Eileen, for instance) but I'd recommend avoiding the other vowels. Felice? Jolie?

An alternative: have you considered using it as her middle name - but still having her go by it? I know it's sub-ideal, but it might be easier to get something that sounds right. (I actually go by my middle name, and sometimes it's a bit inconvenient, but not that big of a deal overall.) For some reason the first name that comes to mind is Anjali, but you might not want to go for something Hindi. I think a lot of the old Latin female names would work, if you wanted to go for classical references again. Probably most names in -ia would work.

June 21, 2010 2:34 PM
By mommytoCaius (not verified)

Funny you mention a Hindi name. Our initial pick was Satya!

I actually really like the sound of Melroe Eileen! It's very pretty and soft. I wanted an older name for the middle name to sort of match Henry (my son's second name) and that goes quite well.

If we had pronounced our son GAI-us the poor kid would never have it pronounced correctly so we just decided to openly embrace the alternative - yet more phonetically intuitive - pronunciation of the name.

I have to admit, you do have a knack for matching names. Thank you so much for the help and insight.

June 22, 2010 1:42 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I didn't see anything smug about the Eleanor posts. Ditto the poster re: Eleanor of Aquitaine - fascinating historical figure, and one of many in English royal families with that name.

June 22, 2010 4:30 PM
By Melissa (not verified)

I named my daughter Elinor after her great grandmother. We call her Ella. I think it is a beautiful name, but I find myself explaining to people why we picked it. I can't think of anyone who was rude to me about it, but most people do seemed surprised by it.

June 22, 2010 4:51 PM
By Arietta (not verified)

Whilst I love both Benton & Grover as individual names I feel that the combination ( and resulting "Ben Dover" nicknames which might arrise in the school yard ) might be what makes people react as they do

Having said that I understand how you must feel, we have spent 8 years correcting the spelling of my daughters name :o)

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