If using Jacob makes you nervous, there's always giving your dd the same initials as your brother or try a smash-up of his fn and mn.

If your brother was Jacob Andrew, you could name your dd Jillian Annika.

-or-

If his name was Jacob Lincoln, you could use Jaylin or Jaclin as a fn or mn.

If it were me, I'd rather not use a male given name as a given middle name for a girl.

I guess you've rejected Jacqueline and Jacoba. Have you rejected all Ja- girls' names, though? There's a huge variety, from old fashioned, to out-of-fashion, to trendy Since I'm fond of old fashioned names, I'd be thrilled to have the excuse to use Jane, but maybe that's not your style. But you also aren't interested in Jasmine or Jayla or Jade? Or are these an insufficient tribute to your brother?

I think using Jacob as a MN is a sweet way to remember him. I would just make sure to give your daughter a very feminine first name, to avoid confusion. My mother is a teacher, and every year when she gets her class list, there's always at least one student who's gender can't be determined due to having two androgynous names.

Variations on James come from Jacob, too, if that floats your boat. Jamie, Jayma, Jameson. I know that others feel a namesake isn't a namesake unless it's spot on, but I kind of like the more hidden ones--they're like a secret story that you can choose to share or keep to yourself. (For instance, a good friend who passed away had a Greek last name that meant "lion"--names on my shortlist for a hypothetical child include names that have a lion reference, like Leander, Ariel (Hebrew) or Lev (Slavic).)

I don't mean to spark a debate, but be honest: If the relative you wanted to honor was female and you were having a boy, would you do the same thing?

To add to my previous comment: That assumes that the name you wanted to use was not even remotely androgynous. For example, if the female relative was named Jessica would you give a boy that as his MN?

Back to the OP: Another idea for honoring would be to use his (Jacob's) surname as a MN. Since surnames when used as given names are often more-or-less gender-neutral, that may be less controversial.

I wish there was an edit function on here! About my comment on using his surname as her MN, I forgot it was your brother. Thus, that would be the same as either your surname or your maiden name (assuming that he was given the same last name as you). So, that idea may not be as good as I thought.

For what it's worth, the Hebrew girls' name equivalent is Yakova, pronounced yah-KO-va.

Name lady, reading your response brought tears to my eyes!!

It is quite common for girls to have masculine middle names due to the mother's maiden name thing, so she won't be picked out as unusual. In fact, with a more feminine first name, say, Alexandra Jacob X, it's quite a stylish combo. A more unisex first name might not have the same appeal for you... Bailey Jacob X-- this child will receive letters addressed to Mr. X their whole lives.

By giving a daughter Jacob's name, and not a feminine version, you are not distilling any of the power that Jacob's name holds for you; all of the memories, etc. I can really think of nothing more beautiful and I'm sure your daughter would be proud to have the name.

I think that you most certainly can name your daughter ______ Jacob. I would also agree that an uber feminine first name would compliment the masculine middle name. Going along with the surname middle name idea maybe throw an "s" on the end and she's "Brianna Jacobs Johnson" still a beautiful tribute to your brother, but makes it a little more acceptable to outsiders. I have only one brother, and if I do not have a son to name after him then I will be trying to do the same thing...although his name is Todd and not quite as versatile as Jacob, but still.

My SIL's middle name is Arch3r. Even though it's a little masculine, it's lovely on her.

My opinion: I wouldn't tack on an 's' just to make it sound more familiar to others' ears though. Honor your bother however you want. I think the middle name 'Jacob' would be a wonderful gift to his niece.

Do it! I have planned for years to give my first child the middle name George after my late father. I really hope it's a girl!

I find nothing at all unusual or controversial about the use of Jacob as a middle name for a girl and, while I understand Remembering Jacob's reasons for not doing this, I wouldn't think it was all that bizarre if she made Jacob her daughter's first name. My sister had a friend whose little sister was named Michael and I know a girl who is my age (early 20's) whose first name is Brett - it's adorable in both cases.

The one caution I would have to put forth is that most of the girls I know who have surnames and/or male first names as middle names dislike their middle name or did dislike it for a time. My sister's middle name is an old family surname that also happens to be a relatively common male first name. When she was 7/8-years-old she absolutely could not comprehend that it was a family last name and, as far as she was concerned, my parents had given her a boy's middle name and she was very upset about it.

If it means something to you, do it! I agree with a PP that I wouldn't use a unisex first name as well, but other than that, it is cool. I have known both an Elizabeth Andrew and a Melody John.

Think of actress Jennifer Jason Leigh! Although she was born Jennifer Lee Morrow, she ended up changing her name, honoring family friend and actor Jason Robards with the middle name.

Oh, and Soleil Moon Frye has a daughter named Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg! While the entire name might sound too masculine, the Joseph part, at least, was in honor of Soleil's late godfather.

I know of a little girl named Jacoba. It's her first name, and she goes by Coby. It's similar and still has the familial ring to it.

No you wouldn't name him jessica you would name him jesse which is a nickname for jessica... I really like the middle name jacob for a girl....especially if it means a lot to you...

My nephew is named Joseph Lee x, after my mom, LeEllen who passed away a few months before his birth. Go for it, although I do think an obviously feminine first name is a good idea. But it doesn't have to be overly girly--Sarah, Anna, Ruth, Sally, all solid girl names, but not prissy.

GO FOR IT! :-) Its original and cool without being stupid like some "original" names.

I gave my daughter Sarah the middle name George in honor of my brother who was killed in Viet Nam - when she was a teenager, she was a little uncomfortable about it but now she's honored and loves it

Good for you

No matter what name or combination of names you choose you will be bringing up your little girl with lots of love and stories of her namesake. Speaking as a namesake, it's an incredibly special feeling as a kid to have a name that is related to the past and has ties to someone your parents loved. I used to ask so many questions of my mom about the grandmothers I was named for and what they were like and whether they would like me and so on and so forth.

That being said do what feels best in your heart. If for you a namesake is not a namesake unless you are saying those familiar syllables then name her something like "Felicity Jacob" or "Jacob Rose." Rock the boat! If you can be satisfied by a "J" name or a same meaning name then go for that. But only you can make this decision for you and your family will support you no matter what.

Please do! How meaningful for everyone involved.

Why not use Jacoba as a first or middle name? It's very feminine if not well-known in America.

I think it's a great name for a girl (first or middle name.) These days anything goes. My daughters middle name is Reyn for her father Reynald. I was going to name her after my grandfather too but we are saving that name for baby number 2.

please excuse cross-posting:

IMHO the idea behind a namesake suggests staying close to the original name. Jacob or Jacoba, Anthony or Antonia, Jesse for Jessica.
Initials are too far away.

My cross-posting recommends keeping your decision private until you are certain. I was very disappointed when several of my husband's married nieces stated that they would name a son for him, and nine years and half a dozen boys later none of them have. If they hadn't mentioned their intention, I might have hoped for a namesake, but I wouldn't have felt so let down. (No one on my side can have children.)

Jacoba is a 100% male name.

I think this is a lovely tribute to your brother. I have a friend whose name is a double name, Mary Jacob, and her cousin is Emma Jacob. It's more of a Southern tradition, but I think something very simple and feminine in this vein is beautiful paired with a masculine name like Jacob. In my friend's case Jacob was her mother's surname, and you are lucky that this name works that way too. Hope you come to a decision that you are happy with!

My husband is Egyptian, and it is traditional to use the father's name as a middle name, so BOTH my son and daughter have his name as a middle name. That said, I DO agree with those who suggest you use a VERY feminine first name. That's what I did with my daughter, and she's had no problems (and she's 21 now.)

Our daughter was given the maiden name of the only grandparent I ever had. My grandmother and I were very close and no one in the family had chosen or even thought to use her first or maiden name. We chose the name of our child before the birth, so whatever the sex, the name would be the same. Actually our daughter's full name is all surnames. She is 20 years old now and everyone throughout her life has loved her first name, even though in writing most think it is a male name. She loves the uniqueness of her name.

I gave my daughter my dad's middle name-Lee-nothing wrong with giving your daughter Jacob.

I lost my older brother in a car accident in May, 1968. When I had my son in May, 1974, I named him after my brother. I was single when I had my son, so he had my brother's first, middle, and last name. My brother's name was Gerard Raymond. If I had had a girl instead of a boy, her name would have been Gerrie Raye instead. As fate would have it, my son is an "identicle twin" to my brother whom he was named after. I only had the one child, so I am glad that I named him after my brother. If you have lost a loved one and want to honor that person by naming a child after them, don't delay. You never know if you will have another opportunity to do so later.

My granddaughter is named after her uncle because he requested it and he and her Mom are very close. His middle name is Darrell and her's is too. I think it is a beautiful triubte to someone and middle names are made just for that.

Here are some feminized options if you want to honor this person but would rather use a diminutive name:

The girl's name Jacoba \j(a)-co-ba\ is a variant of Jacobina (Hebrew), and the meaning of Jacoba is "he who supplants".

Or try Kobi...although related to a famous basketball player it is still a bit sweeter than the full Jacob.

I think its a great idea to give your daughter the middle name Jacob. Truly, not many people will know her middle name, unless she tells them. As far as teachers not being able to tell if it is a boy or girl, let me allay those fears. As a future teacher, who has already done over 300 classroom hours, I have never had that problem, caused by a middle name. In fact, I often did not know (or care) what the child's middle name was.

My cousin has a male middle name, and she is female. Her name is Kathryn Connor. Its a beautiful name, and she is proud of her unique middle name.

I think that Jacob could absolutely work for a girl! My sister is Elisabeth Michael (note the spelling of Elisabeth ;) and she never has anyone guessing her gender! She's named after my father and her name literally means "God's promised angel." So go with your heart and go with Jacob. Trust me, your daughter will love being different than everyone else ... I know my sister does.

You could hyphenate the name and get a girls' name out of it and still honor your brother:
Jacob-Anne, Mary-Jacob, etc.

I grew up with a Michael Anne and the name worked really well on her.

Do it! Using your brothers name, Jacob, is lovely & touching tribute. Plus it's so much better than random, made up trendy names that don't mean anything at all.

I think just Jacob itself as a middle name is fine. Unless you use the name Jacoba, (which I dont really like either) then you are getting to far away from your brother's name for it to mean much. I agree with the name lady 100%. Good luck deciding on a name, but Jacob is fine to me. My mother's middle name is Andrew for the same reason. It is honoring her mother's brother who was killed in war.

Personally, I hate unisex names. And a name as firmly male as Jacob really doesn't sound right to me on a girl. Jacqueline comes from the same root as Jacob and it's a gorgeous name. One of my favorites actually. I would much rather have the middle name Jacqueline than Jacob.

Our 4 yr old is named Ava Jeffrey after my husband's brother who died just before Ava was born. I love the fact that her middle name has meaning and significance. Now I'm expecting my third child and want to give her the middle name, Pea because both of her grandmother's and my husband's name begin with P.

To the person who asked whether you would do this if you were naming a boy after a female relative -- My older daughter has my husband's first name as her middle name -- but he was actually named after his mother! For five generations, all firstborn girls in his family have received this "regular boy's name" as their middle name, because it was a family surname first. Boys sometimes get it as their first names, as did my husband.

My younger daughter has a boy's first name as her middle name too. It was my mother's maiden name.

Both of them like their names. So do we. And we like the idea that they could have a son named after them, as well as a daughter.

Using your brothers name, Jacob, is lovely & touching tribute.

My sister's middle name is Ross, after our father. I love it and think it's wonderful. However, my mother made the mistake of giving her the first name Jamie, so many people seeing the name think she's a man. My middle name is my mother's maiden name, but she gave me an andrgynous first name as well, so a lot of my mail is addressed to "Mr. ..." My advice is that if you give your daughter a masculine or family name as a middle name, make sure the first name signals that she is a girl.

I go by my middle name instead of my first name which is Willi (after my father Willie, who is still alive and well). I grew up really disliking the name, I don't know if it was because my family never called me Willi so I never got used to it or what. I remember running up to the teacher's desk, letting them know what name I went by, so they would not call me by my first name. Now, I have grown accustomed to my name, I'm not in love with it, but I know that my mother (who passed in 2001) really wanted me to be named after my father, because she knew he was excited about having another child. Now that I'm married, I wish she was here, so I could fuss a little more about my wishing I could've been at least named Willa, so that people won't think they are calling or sending letters to the home of two men.

I go by my middle name instead of my first name which is Willi (after my father Willie, who is still alive and well). I grew up really disliking the name, I don't know if it was because my family never called me Willi so I never got used to it or what. I remember running up to the teacher's desk, letting them know what name I went by, so they would not call me by my first name. Now, I have grown accustomed to my name, I'm not in love with it, but I know that my mother (who passed in 2001) really wanted me to be named after my father, because she knew he was excited about having another child. Now that I'm married, I wish she was here, so I could fuss a little more about my wishing I could've been at least named Willa, so that people won't think they are calling or sending letters to the home of two men.

Do what your heart tells you, I personally don't like making Jacob a middle name. But I am a complete stranger and you don't need validation from me.

What my hubs and I did to honor my FIL was use Alan and edited it to become Alaine. If any one asked I am able to explian she's named after both of her paternal grandparents.

Jacob could change to Jacki or even Jay(Jae)?

kelly: i agree. but here people!!! my first name is Dawnel, if you grew up on the east coast you'd know me as the African american boy in every walmart right? FALSE. i am a Caucasian girl from the small country on the west coast. while many girls are given guy names (mine i was named after a aunt who was named after her uncle who died in the 70's) i would have rathered it been my middle name as my middle is Jo-Renee and i go by Renee, if she doesnt like her first name she will go by whatever she wants or refuse the name! it's never our choice honestly so if you love the name heck why not?! i will be doing the same with my fourth, naming him/her after my brother who died 9-11-01, James as a middle name. i think that child and mine will respect their middle names because where it comes from. hope you keep it as a middle name :) dont worry. a kids middle name is the least of your problems... trust me! --mother of 4--

Honestly, I think that the beauty of the namesake greatly outweighs any distaste anyone could perceive for the name simply because it's a 'boy's' name. In response to the 'guy with the middle name Jessica' comment;
a guy in my class at High School had 'Leah' as his middle name. Although inevitably a few kids sniggered when he first told them, they respected it after the boy explained that he had been named after his mother, who died in childbirth, and he only once found himself on the receiving end of a joke about the name. The bully was rebuked by his friends, and never commented on the name again.
I also know of a woman who gave all her children (two boys and two girls) the middle name 'Maria'. The name is also her husband's middle name, and it is a tradition in his family (which is Catholic) to give children that middle name.
However, we are talking of a girl being giving a boy's name, and socially, that is even less controversial, since men retain a traditionally strong, valued place in society, allowing girls the freedom to dress, act and be named liked boys much more more liberally than vice versa. I know a handful of girls with male middle names, including 'Paul', 'Levi' and 'Samuel' and I see no problem with it. I, personally, would much prefer the name 'Lily John Smith' for a girl, if 'John' had such a touching namesake, than 'Lily Beth Smith', if 'Beth' had been chosen because it sounded nice, and 'John' rejected because it was too masculine.

I dated a guy who was named after an aunt and uncle who had died at a young age in an accident. Fortunately he was given the uncle's name as his first name. I also had a cousin named after our great grandparents (Johnnie Sue).