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How Can I Change My Husband's Mind?

I love the name Cristal, and I even have a nickname picked out for it. But my husband doesn't love it. What should I do? He wants the name Vail, but I think it's weird.

–Jade

What should you do? Most likely, go back to the drawing board. You've found the perfect name, but your husband doesn't like it. He's found the perfect name, but you don't like it. The inescapable conclusion is that neither of you have found the perfect name.

I know that's hard to hear. Maybe you've loved the name for years, and dreamed of your daughter bearing it. It doesn't seem fair to have to give it up, when you could just get your husband to change his mind.

But you and your husband both have equal naming rights. That means understanding that a name that's out for one of you is out for both of you. So start again, with an eye to finding a name that's a winner for both your baby's parents.

You might begin by looking for overlaps in your style. Since Cristal and Vail are both nature-related nouns, maybe another name like that would work: Amber, Bay, Cove, Eve, Hazel, Jasmine, Jewel, or Ruby?

Your two contenders are shorter names that feature crisp, tailored sounds. These are shared in names such as Ariel, Blair, Carys, Cleo, Darcy, Juliet, Lane, Nell, and Nova.

And the two names together make me think of Scarlett, which could be an option; or, see this list of names like Scarlett that might appeal, including Juno, Lux, and Skye (and your own name, Jade!). Keep looking until you find that sweet spot: A name you both adore.

Comments

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June 26, 2017 10:05 AM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I agree. If you both approach it as "how can I get them to change their mind" you'll never be able to compromise. The shared goal needs to become finding a name you both like. Cristal and Vail are not the only names in the world. There are literally thousands, maybe even millions of names out there. You and your husband should be able to find one you can agree on.

I agree that nature names would be a good place to start looking.

June 26, 2017 12:42 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

each of you promise to reconsider the other's name for a week and then come back and discuss. I was dead-set against one of my husband's top choices, but I thought about it for awhile, realized it was a nickname for three names I loved, and went with it. But if I had immediately voted onour top 20 list, it wouldn't have made it to the top 10. If after a week no compromise is reached, then go back and find another name. Sometimes we make decisions rather quickly.

June 28, 2017 9:09 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

Interesting they are both "word names"... you want to put her out there to sparkle and naturally your husband wants to protect her. ;) I jest some, but as a mother of three little girls I guess I have heard the gamut myself. :) Maybe there's other word names that you can agree on. I bet there's some in your family tree and that always helps for ownership. Opal, Nell, Marisol, Hazel, Pearl, Sybil. Congrats and hope you'll give compromise a try since it really can make your ideas soar in ways you hadn't thought of!

June 30, 2017 11:09 PM
By Sabby (not verified)

Cristal is so 1970's, I like Vail. It fits in better with her contemporaries. Either way, you should both go back to the drdawing board and pick a new name. No one wants to feel slighted in naming their own child.

July 4, 2017 11:52 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

Reverse the question: is there any way he can change your mind? Most likely no, so there is your answer to your question. If one partner doesn't like the name, then the name is out.

Since it is Vail (not Veil) can I assume it is for the Colorado ski resort? Is that of particular significance to either of you? If so, perhaps find another name that also represents that. Otherwise, start over and search for other names that you both like.

July 6, 2017 7:42 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

Would he settle for Crystal if you spelled it more conventionally? Would you like Vail more if spelled like the word that means valley: Vale? I'm sure you could make lists and see if you have ideas that overlap!

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