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I Think I Gave My Baby the Wrong Name!

I think I gave my baby the wrong name! My dh and I liked the name Madison so much that we settled early on in pregnancy. Now our baby is here and I'm having serious second thoughts. They are taking over my time and energy and I can't shake this feeling. I would like to change her name but everyone thinks I'm crazy. My son said her name fast and it sounded like medicine and now I've picked it apart. My dh doesn't care much for Lily which would have been a great option. I just want a beautiful name I love for my beautiful daughter.

Plenty of parents bring home a beautiful new baby and find that the beautiful new name they had picked out suddenly feels all wrong. Maybe the name sounds different when you say it 100 times a day. Maybe the name doesn't fit this particular child. Maybe the stress of new parenthood is making small problems loom large. Or maybe -- just maybe -- you chose the wrong name.

What's so crazy about that? People choose wrong all the time. Nobody thinks you're crazy for returning an outfit that didn't look as dazzling at home as it did at the store. Yet the idea of changing an infant's name always leads to a lot of eye-rolling. Personally, I think this is an important enough decision that it's worth getting right. Saying your baby's name should be a moment of bonding, not a moment of angst. But before you dive into a whole new name search, roll back the clock to the first one.

Nine months ago, you loved this name. You and your husband were in complete agreement. Can you recapture that feeling? Better yet, can your husband help you do it? Instead of dismissing your concerns, your husband can take the lead on helping you re-fall in love with the name Madison. Ask him to tell you again why this is the right name. Let him describe the good feelings the name gives him, and why it will be a special gift for your little girl.

Good feelings like that can be contagious. Better yet, they can help bring you and your husband back to common ground on this name problem. Because the one part of your letter that really worried me was when you revealed that you're still pining for a name your husband rejected. Partners don't always agree on names, but they should always make sure that their choice doesn't leave hurt feelings on either side.


Please do not add links to your comments. Thank you.

November 12, 2009 12:47 AM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I had a friend in high school who at birth was given the first name Michelle. Being from a very Korean family, many of her relatives couldn't pronounce her name. The nickname they gave her sounded like "nee-na" so when she was two her parents legally changed her name from Michelle to Nina and she's been Nina ever since.

August 10, 2010 1:45 AM
By Anna (not verified)

what's a dh???????

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