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How Can I Talk My Husband Into My Favorite Baby Name?

I love the name Dominic, nicknamed Nico, for our unborn son, and I've gotten my husband to finally admit he likes it, too. But he won't go for it because he has a very distant cousin named Dominic who he's only met once. Every time the 60-something-year-old cousin is mentioned, the family pronounces it Dominque, the Sicilian pronunciation. So the easy answer is to name the baby, Nicholas, but he flat out hates that name. It's very frustrating! Any other names go with Nico? Any way to convince my hubby to go for Dominic? - Nico or Bust

Not many boys' names shorten to Nico aside from the two you've already mentioned. (I'll wager that Nicodemus and Nicomachus aren't quite to your taste.) If you're absolutely determined to use the name Nico, then I suggest doing just that. Give the nickname as his full name. In an era of just-Jakes and simply-Sams, your nothing-but-Nico won't ruffle any feathers.

But I'm seeing a bigger problem in the way you describe your situation. Let me break this down: you "get" your husband to "finally admit" that he likes your favorite boys' name when – oops! – some cousin you've never met suddenly pops into the conversation. Good old cousin Dominic. Of course! Can't let the baby share a name with a distant relative he'll likely never encounter. All your hard work convincing your husband of the rightness of this name has been for nothing.

Face it. Your husband doesn't like this name. If he liked Nico, you wouldn't have to force him to "finally admit" it. If he liked Nico, he wouldn't scramble for excuses to eliminate it. If he liked Nico, he wouldn't refuse to consider other names that yield this nickname. If he liked Nico ... well, you get the idea.

Possibly, you can still persuade him to accept the name. The insistence of an expectant mother can have remarkable effects. Is it worth it, though, knowing that you wouldn't really be changing your husband's mind, just wearing him down?

You've dreamed of a son named Nico. I understand that it's painful to let a dream like that go. Remember, though, that a name is a key bridge to bonding with a new child – for both parents. There are plenty of wonderful names remaining for you to discover. If you're willing to start your search over, I'm confident you can find one that will be special to both of you.

Comments

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October 21, 2009 8:28 AM
By Zoerhenne (not verified)

How about Rico? It could lengthen to Ricardo or Richard if you don't like the O ending. It is so very similar to Nico that it just might work for both of you.

October 22, 2009 12:22 AM
By Sebastiane (not verified)

I agree just go with plain Nico. Nico would do great as a stand alone name.

October 22, 2009 10:50 AM
By Anonymous (not verified)

There is always Nicolas. It's my brother and grandfathers name and we call them Nico. Even just using Nico works. I knew a girl who's brother was named Nico. It's a great name and if you both like it there's no reason not to use it.

October 22, 2009 2:01 PM
By Elizabeth (not verified)

I know a couple -- the dad is from Russsia -- and they named their first son Danick. (It can also be spelled Danik) They pronounce it with the accent on the first syllable. Anyway, Nico could work as a NN for Danick.

October 23, 2009 3:09 PM
By Nico or Bust (not verified)

Very good points, Name Lady! We're trying to find a name we both love, but it's very difficult because my DH doesn't want a name to remind him of anyone he's related to or ever met in his life, or so it seems. Thanks for all the other suggestions! DH has no rational explanation for why he hates Nicholas/Nicolas and wouldn't you know he has a cousin Rico?!? :)

October 24, 2009 9:26 AM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I have a brother names Nico, who's name is Nicolas (no h). Nobody ever asks him what his full name is, most just assume that his real name is Nico. I think that's it's a fun name, and Nicolas would be the best because Dominic might be a little heavy if your son want to revert to his full name when he is older. But Nico is a great name!

October 27, 2009 5:48 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

By friends just named their baby Nikos!

She is Greek and so naming her son within that tradition is very important to her, since he will get his daddy's (very Irish) last name.

There was an issue of a relative Nikos who she disliked, but they got past that the moment she fell in love with her son. The fact that she is obsessed with the novelist Nikos Kazantzakis doesn't hurt, either!

Be aware that the "Nico" spelling is traditionally a feminine name.

October 28, 2009 7:04 AM
By Elizabeth (not verified)

There is definitely truth to the last post -- when you get to know your baby you will likely forget any previous negative associations you or your spouse may have had for a certain name (ie. the cousin/neighbor/classmate) you never liked. When we chose my daughter's name, my grandmother made it very clear she was not pleased because she had known an Adele in school and never liked her. She said she would call my daughter by her middle name, Linnea. Two years later, I have never heard another mention of this, and Adele is Adele

October 28, 2009 9:23 AM
By JoyceJoann (not verified)

Great advice, Name Lady. Compromise is so important if you want your husband to feel he has an equal share in raising your child.
I'd suggest giving your hubby some links to good name websites and ask him to come up with his own list.
The name my husband and I chose wasn't on either of our top 50, but the compromise was best for our relationship.

November 10, 2009 2:09 AM
By Emily Weaver Brown (not verified)

what about Nikolai - just thought it was another that could be shorted to Niko.

November 22, 2009 6:24 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

I like Nikolai! Good idea, Emily! I've been a fan of the nickname Nico since our honeymoon in Greece. My husband is 50% Greek and now that we're expecting, I've been leaning toward the name, too!

February 17, 2010 5:19 PM
By Kristin (not verified)

What about just plain Nico? Or just spell it Domminikk, or maybe Nicholi ( Just as long as your lastname isn't Carpathias!)

April 7, 2010 8:47 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

There's also the very greek alternative of "Nikos", although that's almost the same as Nico

May 19, 2010 3:06 PM
By Anonymous (not verified)

It's true that if your husband likes a name, he won't let excuses discourage him. For years we've both loved Gwendolen, but after our first two children were given family names that also happened to be nouns (a plant and a month), I worried that Gwen would be too different and wanted a family name/place name that may fit better. My husband was the one who gently convinced me that our baby girl would be okay. If he didn't like Gwendolen, he wouldn't have stuck it out.

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